I had a sleep over last night with two of the most amazing people in my life and it was great. I graduate in 6 months time and most people would be focused on the new life ahead of them. Not me. I'm focused on what I will be missing...rather who I will be missing when it's all over. Isn't that sad?
I've never really had friends. I feel like I'm more of a friend to people than they are my friends. [If that makes sense]. Maybe it's because they like to share how they're feeling and I don't do the whole emotions stuff. For once in my life, I've finally found people outside my family who understand my silence, my different smiles, my sighs and snorts. They don't need me to express how I feel for them to know when to hug me and when to let go. They know that I take pictures for my blog but I'm far from vain and superficial. They know that I love God and they love Him just as much...or possibly more. They respect my individuality...my difference...
And in less than 6 months, I will not see this people every day again. It'd be when we can create time for each other because there's so much we all want to do. It's scary. These people keep me sane and do not judge me, even though they've seen me....all of me...let me rephrase that, some of me. [I haven't seen all of me yet, still discovering who I am]. And I guess, I'm finding it hard to imagine where I'd ever find these type of people again. Is that bad?
You know, sometimes I sit down with them and we could just be having lunch or doing something silly and I just hear this whisper in my ears saying; right here...right now...you're where you ought to be...with these beautiful people.
Now I have this constant voice in my head saying; 'last lap'. You've got to move to the next phase of your life. Most people I know are excited. And I am too, but I'm also nervous...scared...of the next step I need to take. I read somewhere that I don't know what tomorrow might bring but I know the God that brings tomorrow and I trust His plans. That's where I'm at right now. Letting go of the wheel, so Jesus can take it. Moving into the passenger's seat so Jesus can be the driver. That's where I'm at. A point of complete surrender.
*Just thought to share this with you. I'd probably regret this in the morning. lol*
Lots of love,