Monday, April 1, 2013


As I type this, I have a deep cut on my left thumb that prevents me from typing as fast as I'd like to. To be honest, I never really paid much attention or attached much importance to my left thumb until now. Until something drew my attention to it... 

And it made me wonder why do women pay so much attention to things that don't define them? Yes, this isn't really about my left thumb, it's about an unhealthy attachment to/obsession with hair. When a baby is born without hair, doctors don't pay much attention to that cause it will grow. When a baby is born without a thumb, now that arouses the doctor's curiosity.

Contrary to a lot of opinions, I am of the view that it's just hair. We have turned to a generation of hair whores. Natural vs Relaxed. Straight vs Curly. Short vs Long. Weaves vs No-Weaves. Good hair vs Bad hair. 

Don't get me wrong, I love changing up my hair style and I'm always telling my friends about a new regime I heard (lol). But I feel like we have let our hair define us. I never paid attention to the internal damage this hair obsession has done to us until someone very dear to me began to lose her hair due to an illness and I saw how it affected her confidence. Right there and then I realised that if I lost all my hair, I would be traumatized but thousands of people are losing their hair everyday to causes they can't control. We've hidden under "woman empowerment" to justify our obsession with hair. Are we really preaching woman empowerment when we fuss over our hair like it defines who we are. Does "beauty is skin-deep" not apply when it comes to our hair?

If you want to chop your hair off, start a healthy hair journey, go natural, wear 40" long weave or just 14", dye or bleach all means, go ahead. But don't ever let your hair define you. Don't let it own your confidence...self worth. Don't let your hair own you! There's nothing wrong with talking about your hair. There's something wrong with letting your self-worth & confidence depend on the state of your hair...

Before you start fussing over your hair & giving orders on what others should do with their hair, think what message am I passing across to other women without hair? Am I empowering women or telling them that they are their hair? It's really just hair after all and you're more than what grows on your scalp. You're what grows within your heart.

India Arie sang it best when she sang about not being her hair

If you haven't, check out my recent post here

Lots of love,


  1. Great post, sorry about your thumb though. People actually pay too much attention to their hair. I have a friend at school that cries if she combs her hair and a little bit falls out. So ridiculous. x

  2. Hmm this is deep and I get what you are saying. I guess because "us" ladies are often told that our hair is our we tend to cherish it so much that we think it makes us who we are.

  3. I NEEDED to hear this today! I cut my hair of recently and It's not working our for me the way I expected it. I don't feel as beautiful. It's funny how most of us know better but get affected by the smallest and silliest thing in life. Thanks for your message!

  4. Sorry about your thumb, i'd probably freak out if i couldn't twist my hair with the use of my thumb.

    But this seriously opens up a great conversation. We do put so much attention into our hair. I've thought of what I would do if i lost mine because I watched my aunt go completely bald. As he hair fell out, the tears came. I felt helpless to her, I wanted to help her, and I wanted to shield her from the trauma. I didn't want anybody to say anything negative about this woman what was such a huge part of my life. I never once saw my aunt cry about having cancer, I never saw her cry when she was tired and got treatment, I never saw her shed one tear as her hair fell out, she would grab it off, wrap it in a bundle and throw it in the trash. Then she decided to get the rest cut off. I was far more emotional that she was, and she just kept saying. Chile it will grow back. I look at some of my older cousins, and aunts and they are bald, I remember my grandmother letting me cornrow he little bit of hair too. So I dont know, the notion that it might all go when i'm older doesn't bother me. But my hair has full control over my life haha. I have like 4c...whatever it is, it's tuff and one night of no twist and i can't even go out the house.

    So i don't know where to begin to not let my hair be so much of who I am...unless i braided it up a lot haha. I have gotten to a point where even when my hair isn't working out I can still walk around with some grain of confidence. It's gotten to the point where my boss prefers my afro over me having straight hair. He goes "it just don't look right" in her most southern accent. So i guess i'm getting there.

  5. hmmmm nice post but as said, it opens up a great conversation. Did u read 1cor11:15 before posting this? i think you should! the hair is one thing that defines a woman. The state of your hair tells the state of your mind at every point in time. its a woman's glory.

    1. Hmm. I see. While you've made some valid points, I do believe we shouldn't read the Bible out of context. That verse is focused on how what you do with your HEAD could bring dishonour to your head which is a man (your husband). Until it gets to verse 15 before it makes mention of "hair" so head and hair are very different. If God uses the state of your hair to tell your mind, then He wouldn't have said he isn't concerned about your outwards appearance but it is your heart that matters to Him in I Samuel 16:7.

      So, I disagree that your hair defines you when God is more concerned about the state of your heart. And this post is focused on idolatry of hair. When women make their hair a mini god to them. Thanks for your comment though. A different opinion is always appreciated.

  6. great post and you have beautiful hair girl

  7. I have checked out your blog and its interesting!!!

  8. such a nice afro :D
    loved ur previous looks as well.

    shall we follow each other?

    Subscribe on youtube for DIY and fashion videos. I’ts gonna be a lot of fun :D

  9. Great post. Sorry for your thumb.

  10. I really enjoyed this post very much! I have been saying the same thing for quite sometime now since this whole hair craze/obsession started a few years ago. When I went natural which is about 17yeras ago there was not so much of an obsession. It was more women wanted to cut there hair and that's what they did. Those that wanted to keep there relaxers, wear weave, etc. they did it because that's what they wanted to do. It wasn't so much of "the thing to do". In my opionion this thing has gone so out of control because ive read hair blogs, magazines, you tube etc. and women are arguing, debating, fighting over whats better natural, relaxed,weave etc. like you said its a battle between the naturals and relaxed/weave community. im sorry but thats so damn CORNY to me! ITS JUST HAIR PEOPLE!!!! When people ask me what made me cut my hair and go natural my response is always "I just wanted to cut my hair." And if I want to get up one day and perm/weave, braid, go bald, it's FINE to because its MY HAIR!!!

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  12. You inspire us a lot and thank you so much for the same!!! xoxo


I am so glad you're taking the time out to comment. It really does put a smile on my face ♥