I knew it wasn't just me. I knew I could not be the only one who raised holy hands and sometimes use the F-Word when I was irritated. I needed to know I was not alone in loving God but struggling to please Him in every area of my life. So I spoke to a friend, she said she didn't use the F-Word. It wasn't her thing. Then she said
"I want to please God but I struggle with fornication." Then my other friend would judge everything that breathes because he was raised in a strict religious household and didn't know better.
What I realised from my struggles and those conversations is this; a lot of us are struggling with various vices, all the while (subconsciously) putting up a front as "almost perfect" Christians.
Now, I use the word "struggle" because it indicates that you are bound and you are putting in effort to be free of restraint. It means we are not justifying these vices. We are saying we want to be free of it.
DID YOU KNOW? Judas Iscariot had a problem with greed. He liked money way too much. I feel like if he had just gone up to meet Jesus first and then his fellow disciples and said "guys, I'm struggling with greed, I need some form of checks and balances", maybe he wouldn't have betrayed Jesus Christ for some pieces of silver.....maybe they would have prayed together....watched his back and helped him overcome greed. Just maybe. But how could they have known, if he never told them.
DID YOU ALSO KNOW? Paul struggled too. He said "I do not understand what I do. For, what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do" (Romans 7:15)
I remember praying one day and telling God; "I've sunk so low into sin" and He said "not so low that I cannot lift you up". I said "I've gone too far into sin" and He said "not so far that my hands cannot reach you"
Side Note: Preparing this post taught me a lesson in humility and fear I never like to ask people for anything. I just see it as not imposing on anyone but really it's an element of pride. I also don't like rejection. I sent around 30 emails. Some of these people I've never spoken to. Some of these people didn't respond. Lol. But through it all, I learnt that people may say NO if you ask, but you'll never get a YES either if you don't ask.
This is by far the most vulnerable post ever and I couldn't have been so vulnerable if I didn't have these amazing people to hold my hands. To the people who participated; I cannot say thank you enough....for being vulnerable with me and the world. I pray that our Heavenly Father rewards you for your honesty and bravery in Jesus name.
"Two are better than one. If one falls down, the other can help the other up. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12"
"Confess your sins to one another & pray for one another - James 5:16"
I hope someone is encouraged by this. Have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Lots of love,